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О национальных особенностях в корпоративном управлении (автор неизвестен) - crossline's journal
crossline
crossline
О национальных особенностях в корпоративном управлении (автор неизвестен)



 

TRADITIONAL CONCEPT OF CORPORATE MANAGEMENT
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty
times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

 

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

CREATIVE VENTURE (ENRON-STYLE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated
general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a  Cayman   Island
Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven
cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the  United States ,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then
buys your bull.

 

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Comments
chinz From: chinz Date: Ноябрь, 10, 2008 21:38 (UTC) (Ссылка)
Спасибище! Я тут искала английский оригинал, но так и не успела найти -- спасибо!
crossline From: crossline Date: Ноябрь, 10, 2008 22:24 (UTC) (Ссылка)
Это мне прислали в числе разных баек, происхождение и авторство неизвестны, но решил выложить, потому что в каждой шутке...
d_white1967 From: d_white1967 Date: Ноябрь, 10, 2008 22:02 (UTC) (Ссылка)
Супер! Эх, почему я не швейцарец...
crossline From: crossline Date: Ноябрь, 10, 2008 22:20 (UTC) (Ссылка)
тоже завидую
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